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ALS in purple pencil, signed “Janis,” three pages, 8.5 x 11, July 12, 1965. Emotional handwritten letter to her boyfriend, Peter de Blanc, who left her during the night to be with his friends, in full: “Well so it's happened again. I didn't think it would. I thought I wouldn't ever hurt & cry for you again. But I am, so…? Why? Well, just the fact that you are loaded again & identifying in that world still would be enough to make me sad. (As it did this morning…I woke up & of course you weren't there, having had many urgent & pressing matters that drew you out in the middle of the night – like the hot water heater and friends to call on. I certainly don’t mean to infer that they aren’t important just ‘loaded – imperative.’) And it does. I waited for you & thought about you all morning – until it became apparent that you weren’t coming over. Too busy, I trust. 'Amphetamine imperative.' So, I cried then. Because I was hurt. Not only because you had been so uncaring about my feelings but also because you had preferred your friends, duties, & associated crystal to my love & company.
As I said – the above alone is enough to make me sit in the bathroom & cry, but you keep adding salt.
I went out, went shopping, bought some flowers, some clothes, a sheet, etc. When I came home I was sort of expecting you to be here. But you weren’t. But I figured that in case you had gotten my note & knew I felt hurt you would undoubtedly leave your ‘imperative duties’ to worriedly find me & reassure me & comfort me in my sadness. So, I guess because I knew you would be by soon concerned I started cleaning up & having little unspoken conversations with you and laughing. But I finished cleaning, washing, sweeping, packing & everything & my back-of-my-head that was smiling & thinking of you was beginning to be hip to the fact that you weren't concerned and hadn't come by & indeed must be perfectly happy where you were (wherever!).
That was when I sort-of curled-up-laid-down-& started crying. I was just thinking when this guy came by & wanted me to cop for him. So, as a favor, I said I would, but also because I wanted to verify–disprove my feeling that you were – as I had thought – over at Maryanne's just sort of happily & imperatively sitting around – and not even thinking or caring about me! So I went with him to see & you were, and, with bottle, I returned home – now to cry, but still sort of knowing you would be by to care & comfort me – we even had a date, JEEZ! – but diggit, you haven't come by. Wow Peter, I’m crying…where are you & all my hopes. I [love] [loved] you.” Joplin strikes through both mentions of love. Joplin has written "Peter….?" on the reverse of the second page. In very good to fine condition, with light dampstaining affecting some of the text, but not readability. Accompanied by a mailing envelope marked “Peter” and dated “7-12 4:30 P.M.”
At the time this letter was written, Joplin was living at home with her parents, hoping to rebuild her life and recover from a period of drug abuse. In May 1965, her friends in San Francisco noticed the detrimental effects on her health from regularly injecting methamphetamine, and encouraged her to return to her family's home in Port Arthur. Back in Texas, Joplin changed her lifestyle – she avoided drugs and alcohol, adopted a beehive hairdo, and enrolled at Lamar University in nearby Beaumont. Later, in the fall of 1965, Joplin became engaged to Peter De Blanc, who she had been seeing since the end of her first stint in San Francisco. The engagement was short-lived, however, and De Blanc called it off soon after. The following year in 1966, Janis was recruited to join the psychedelic rock band Big Brother & the Holding Company, a move that jump-started her legendary musical career. The band's debut studio album was released by Mainstream Records in August 1967, shortly after the group's breakthrough appearance in June at the Monterey Pop Festival.
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