Humorous unsigned typed manuscript, two pages, 8.5 x 11, no date. Headed, "Communique No. 1 from W. C. Fields," offering a defense against an anonymous director's charges that "Fields hasn't been able to get off the hard stuff…That's why he doesn't appear any more," and that he can't remember his lines. Fields replies, in part: "I ad lib most of my dialogue. If I remembered lines, it would be too bad. Said director would either be picking his nose or massaging his sphincter or both and would not see the scene and would have to ask what the stage crew was laughing at after the scene was over and we would have to take the scene over so he could see it. At M-G-M in 'David Copperfield' my part was scheduled for ten days, I did it in nine days. At Universal, my part was allotted ten days; I finished in a day and a half. AT Mack Sennett's-I was given two weeks to write and perform in a two-reeler. I finished the picture in a day and a half…I have never been late or missed a performance either on screen, stage or radio in some forty odd years. It is true that occasionally I take a little rum and Coca Cola or a Martini medicinally but I am very proud of my record." In fine condition.