ALS signed “Sam’l L. Clemens,” one page, lightly-lined both sides, 5 x 7.75, October 26, 1870. Letter to Dr. Cardener. In full: “How men do lose their tempers without any absolute necessity for it! Why, I send for that bill for St. Louis Mo., more than 3 years ago, & there never was a bill in the world that I would have paid with more alacrity or felt more as if I had got my money's worth. I am very careless, heedless, forgetful, & all that, but never had any desire to defraud you from affording me intelligent & efficient relief on that needful occasion. So you were all wrong when you got angry about it—it was fooling away good vigorous indignation that could have been used on some fellow that felt guilty, & then it would have had a deal more effect. However, if you enjoy getting out of temper, level it all at me—I don't mind it. Newspaper abuse has made me callous, & so if I can be useful to you as a target, in further payment of a bill that has run so disgracefully long, my moral alligator-skin is at your service. But seriously I am a good deal more annoyed at this bill having run all these years than I am at your remarks. I should hate to give a man my time & services in good faith & then have to wait 3 1/2 years for my pay. I can comprehend the situation.” A couple pencil notations to top, some light toning along folds on front of letter, and a small spot to one word of text, otherwise fine condition.
Clemens apparently consulted the aforementioned New York City physician, Iretus G. Cardner, before leaving the Big Apple in 1867. More than three years later, in October 1870, Dr. Cardner angrily contacted the author—who was surprised that the bill had not been paid. Clemens cleverly sent this message, proclaiming “there never was a bill in the world that I would have paid with more alacrity or felt more as if I had got my money's worth” and granting the good doctor permission to take out any future aggression as a means of interest: “If you enjoy getting out of temper, level it all at me—I don't mind it. Newspaper abuse has made me callous.” An ingenious retort that appeared in Volume 1 of the publication Mark Twain’s Letters. Pre-certified PSA/DNA and RR Auction COA.
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